话题：Nonviolent Communication 读后感
《Nonviolent Communication》是一本由Marshall B. Rosenberg著作，Puddledancer Press出版的Paperback图书，本书定价：USD 19.95，页数：222，特精心从网络上整理的一些读者的读后感，希望对大家能有帮助。
《Nonviolent Communication》精选点评：
●非暴力沟通。1共情是理论基础，仔细观察-用心感受-明确需要-最后请求的沟通模型，好的沟通需要从好的表达自我做起，即因为看到了什么感觉如何而我需要什么，请问你能怎么怎么，这是共情式表达。另外是共情式接收，确认、重复其情绪是共情式接收的表现方式；2不要下对人轻易做道德判断，比较，命令。3不带评价地观察。
●Observation Feeling Needs Request
●對窩這種宜人性爆低 神經質爆高的人 還素很有用滴。。。
●communication....观自己的感受为主....棒的书。可以一读再读...
●竟然读完了！特别有用特别棒！不过只读懂了80%，准备做笔记，外加读个中文版加深理解！最受益的一点是，对自己负责！发现用中文说好贫乏啊！——2015.09.07
●非常好的书，应当每年读一遍
●很棒的一本讲述沟通的书，还是那句话，关键是要运用。
●to read the original book
●To follow the process and trust it will work. Practice, practice, and practice :)
●speak before observation and thinking
《Nonviolent Communication》读后感(一)：第一行就是最关键的。
每本好书的开头，都是作者经过深思熟虑、冥思苦想写出来的。这本书也是。
Words are Windows,or they're walls.全书的亮点，需要记住的重点，就是此句。沟通就是要让自己像窗户一样透明，让别人明白自己。同时，从别人的言词中知道别人的感觉、需要，并满足之。
《Nonviolent Communication》读后感(二)：Love Yourself（二）
书里面有一段对话举例。
经过一番探索，说的那位发现，ta认为爱或者caring的表现，是：别人主动作出行为，来满足ta没有说出口的需求。这要求，另一个个体，能够完全体会ta的感受和需求，并对此作出回应。这当然很ridiculous。
这种“希望别人满足自己未说出口的需求”的情形又很常见，比如在很多父母对子女、亲密关系中的女性对男性、甚至上级对下级的关系中。
那么如何化解这个ridiculous的需求，不再对外界/ta人产生这样的希冀？书里面也有：be empathetical to yourself，爱自己。不时分析自己的unmet need，然后满足它。
如何分析自己的unmet need？书中介绍的方式，是把nonviolent communication用在和自己对话上。
前一篇书评：
是与他人沟通，也是与自己沟通 （一）
《Nonviolent Communication》读后感(三)：是与他人沟通，也是与自己沟通 （一）
从这本书里，学到许多，我准备分几次写。
这一次准备写“Taking responsibility for our feelings”，这是第五章的标题和内容。在第五章开头，开张名义的说：当听到负面message的时候，有四种选项：
1）责怪自己（Blaming ourselves）
2）责怪他人（Blaming others）
3）感受自我的感觉和需求（Sensing our own feelings and needs）
4）感受他人的感觉和需求（Sensing others‘ feelings and needs）
再进一步通过具体的对话说明怎样的表达是在blame自己或他人、怎样的表达是在感受自己或他人的感觉和需求。
其中有一点，特别适用的，是区别 giving from the heart and being motivated out of guilt。文中提到，由罪恶感（guilt）驱动的根源机制是，把自我感觉的责任归结到别人身上。比如，当父母说：“你的xyz行为，让我们觉得很不高兴”。父母实际上是在把自己的“不高兴”，归因于子女的行为。如果子女因为在意父母的情绪、而改变自己的行为，这种行为改变是由罪恶感驱动的，而不是giving from the heart。这也是我们常说的emotional blackmailing。
由此，打开的一条思路是，当他人要求你，对他们的情绪负责的时候，可以清晰的、区分出这种责任，并进一步的、不被这种责任所困。
打开的另一条思路是，接收到负面message的时候，可以选择自身的行为反应的，也就不用困在“一 怎样怎样（他人说句不好听的 or whatsoever），就炸毛” 的情绪反应里，既然没有被情绪困住和淹没，就可以根据需求选择应对和反应方式。
再延伸一点，生活中，事情发生的时候，对事情的观点和情绪反应也是、可选择的。一件“人人都以为”或“过去会以为”是“坏事”的事，如果选择将它看作是“好事”，或“只是一件事*”，所做的应对和反应会相应不同。
只是一件事*：在 vipassana meditation 中（也许是在所有佛教教义中），有一个guideline，是 see things as they are, no aversion and no craving. Enlightening 也许不是每个人都要追求的，正好想到，就多写到这一点。
《Nonviolent Communication》读后感(四)：good experience
it's a good book.
i will finish the book tomorrow or today.
As first i looked the book as much as 10%. but only 5 days later ,i only made little progress about 2% one day。and so on just stop 。
I still write something that i learned from the book。
VC proposes that if people can identify their needs, the needs of others, and the feelings that surround these needs, harmony can be achieved.
There are 4 steps Observation，Feelings， Needs and request to solve most the commucation in our life.
1:just observation，not evaluation。When we combine observation with evaluation others are apt to hear criticism and resist what we are saying." Instead, a focus on observations specific to time and context is recommended.
2:feeling,emtional. everyone has the emtional.
3:Needs understand human nead.
4:request request for a specific action, free of demand,and request distinct from demands.
《Nonviolent Communication》读后感(五)：nonviolent communication : a language of life
《nonviolent communication : a language of life》【美】Marshall B. Rosenberg
To create a harmony relationship with others we need to focus the light of consciousness on four areas ——observation, feeling, needs, request. First, we observe what is actually happening in a situation: what are we observing others saying and doing that is either enriching or not enriching our life？ The trick is to be able to articulate this observation without introducing any judgement or evaluation——to simply say what people are doing that we either like or don’t like. Next, we state how we feel when we observe this action: are we hurt, seared, joyful, amused, irritated, etc.？ And thirdly, we say what need of ours are connected to the feelings we have identified. Finally, we should make a very specific request. For example: when a mother found house in chaos she may say to his son like that: when I see two balls of soiled socks under the coffee table and another three next to the TV (observation). I feel irritated(feeling) because I am needing more order in the rooms that we share in common(need). Would you be willing to put your socks in your room or in the washing machine (request). Thus, part of nonviolent communication is to express four pieces of information very clearly, whether verbally or by other means. The other aspect of this aspect of this communication consist of receiving the same four pieces of information from others. We connect with them by first sensing what they are observing, feeling, and needing, and then discover what would enrich their lives by receiving the fourth piece, their request.
The every part can be difficult for us when we focus on the process of NVC ( nonviolent communication ) the first time. We may make evaluations when we were supposed to just express the observation. So, the author says that observation without evaluation is the highest form of human intelligence
The author also had a profound study in language and thought. “Vague language contributes to internal confusion.” Language is a tool we formed to spread information among human beings and the use of it also has effects in sharping the way we think. Using vague language may cause internal confusion.
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